"Difficult Roads Often Lead to Beautiful Destinations"


Happy Valentine's Day loves! Hope you have a wonderful day spending it with those you love most. I thought that the perfect post for today was a little bit about my love story, as I'm usually extremely private when it comes to those near and dear to my heart.

So I must first admit that I never truly enjoyed Valentines Day. In fact, I hated it. The only good part I enjoyed about it was that my favorite heart candies were now in stores. Also making valentines day cards as a kid was super fun. But as an teenager, adult..it was never my favorite day. Still till this day its not. Sometimes you find someone who just changes every aspect of your life and brings out the best in you.

No matter what day it is, I'm shown what love is. I've never experienced such a thing prior. My past truly destroyed me and it has its ripple effects still till this day. I've always chosen to keep my personal life private. I rarely ever posts photos of our life together, and when I do, I'm afraid of what backlash I may get from haters who think they know my life.

Before meeting Cody, I hated doing anything adventurous. I think it was due to the fact I was trapped in a pretend life that revolved around parties and bad groups of friends. I lost myself as a person, as a whole. I lost confidence and gained many insecurities. I was in a toxic relationship. One no one will ever understand, even if they think they do. It was the type of high school relationship where an argument would start if we didn't tag each other in a post or upload a pic for Man Crush Monday or Women Crush Wednesday. Petty stuff like that. I didn't know anything else. I believed lies that were constantly told to me on a daily basis, but then being made the bad guy in the relationship. I felt invisible. I felt lost. I felt no one could hear my cry for help. That I was suffering. Something so toxic ruined me. I didn't want to go on with life. I was turned into someone who became overly paranoid. So worried about peoples form of judgment. I was always so used to being bullied, and being bullied by someone I once trusted killed me. To have conversations and words be twisted, even still till this day, destroyed me. I've broken down so many times in tears, asking myself why do I deserve this? No one deserves to be mistreated. I never ever want to hurt someone. I can't even try to be mean. If I ever am, I have so much guilt wrapped up in me.

"He broke down her walls without her even noticing. And when he rebuilt the walls, he added windows to let the sunshine in."


Cody and I met at the race track near us years ago. I've been going out there to watch the races since 2008 and he's been racing longer than that, first starting in American Stocks, and now racing IMCA Modifieds. We were always friends. Sometimes people walk into your life for a reason, without you even knowing. 

As years went by and things changed, we became closer. He turned into one of my best friends. Not till recently we started things seriously, and I have to say I'm so thankful I've met a human like him.


No matter what life throws at us, he's always the first person to make sure I'm okay. He puts myself before him. Sometimes I wish he wouldn't, but I'm internally grateful for his kind gestures he shows daily. 

Overtime, we have become comfortable with one another. We play video games, make YouTube videos and take random road trips. Someday's I can't believe that this is my life. That I get to truly enjoy everyday with a smile on my face. Even on bad days, he's always there by my side, making sure I'm okay and getting me my favorite food to make things better.

The saying is so true: "Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations."

I had no idea that this is where my life would be today. For the first time ever, I can say I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. If it wasn't for you Cody, I wouldn't be where I'm at. I wouldn't have a blog. I wouldn't have nearly 20,000 followers on Instagram. I wouldn't have traveled. I wouldn't have felt what love is like.


You make the worse days the best. Your kind words leave traces on my heart. I never believed in myself until I met you. I was a mess when we met. I still can be at times. I can worry too much, especially about what I'm wearing! But you will go out of your way to make sure I know how beautiful I am. Everyday I wake up to a text, telling me to have a wonderful day. Telling me how beautiful I am. I never once thought I would feel this type of way. To be treated like your supposed to. I don't know what I did to deserve you. I've never met anyone who dislikes you. If they did, its because of a racing deal and that's all on you! Lol!

I'm truly one of the luckiest girls in the world. We never have arguments. They are more like disagreements, and it always happens to be about where were eating! This is what an adult relationship should be like. Communicating instead of yelling. Laughing at ourselves instead of bringing each other down.

Thank you Cody, for always being by my side through this thing called life. You've given me the confidence to chase my dreams. Again, I wouldn't have what I have if it wasn't for you. Thank you for being my number one supporter through this journey. I'm so thankful I get to share these accomplishments with you. Thank you for showing me how not to care about what people think about us. It breaks my heart when I hear things about us that aren't true. Hearing that I'm too pretty or that I'm only with you for certain jewels in life. I so wish I was more like you and didn't let those things bring me down, but you know it's a girl thing and I care too much, lol. I'm so grateful I can tell you everything, even about whats going on currently with crazy people. Your there by my side through all of my struggles.

 Also thank you for being the best photographer around! You listen to my ideas and make them your own. Like the picture above! That was taken just last week at Venice Beach. We laughed so hard while we were sitting on these chairs, and we were so happy our camera has a self timer, because he's always the one behind the camera, never in front of it.

I'm so thankful to have a special Valentines. Not just on February 14th, but 365 days a year.

Thank you for being you Cody. For staying true to yourself when sometimes it feels like the world is tumbling down. For making me see myself as I am, and accepting all my flaws and cherishing my heart. I never accepted myself until I met you. I never thought I was beautiful, until I met you. I'm so proud of the gentlemen that you are and always have been. I'm your number one supporter and I can't wait to see where your passions take you.


Until next time.

Jessica

No comments